Love what you do. Do what you love.

Love what you do. Do what you love.

            I have no idea how many times I have told others the above quote nor how many times I have heard it or have had it told to me. It makes sense that if you are going to do something make it something you love doing, but just how many of us really do what we love?

            I am very good at giving advice, I have the tendency to examine all the situations I encounter and visualize different outcomes therefore arriving at the most practical or logical solutions. Countless time I have seen the results of my advice and it has always worked for the best in my point of view.

           

            Looking back at the mess that is my life though I have come to the conclusion that maybe I should have taken advice from others, not that any was ever offered but then again, if it had, would I have taken it?

            I have made love, had sex, played with the emotions of others, broken hearts, broken marriages, and in the process destroyed that which is my present reality. I supposed I overfed my ego and lived a lie thinking there was no tomorrow, but tomorrow is here and there is nothing to show but the spoiled fruits of my harvest.

            Living a superficial shallow life concerned only with the pleasures of the flesh, the now. I never took the time to assimilate that which surrounded me, never thought my “life” needed “fixing”, oh, sure, others lives had loopholes and imperfections but mine had to be raw without expectations. Here I have wasted a lifetime rejoicing in the emptiness of my soul lacking the love and the human touch so desperately needed to survive. What a farce I have lived.

            I have still to find out what it is I “LOVE” and maybe then I may have enough life left to do it. Until then I shall keep up the fake, the strong, the wise. As a friend once told me: “You are to smart for your own good” Thank you Joe Weis, you were perhaps the only person to ever tell me the truth about my self. Needles to say I didn’t listen and my own stupidity has done me in.

            I raise my glass and toast to those that have found happiness even if just for a short expanse.

Jorge