Rock Bottom

Rock Bottom

              So, how do you know when you hit rock bottom? Most people will tell you that rock bottom is when it can’t get any worse. But think about; it can always get worse. You can be homeless, no job, no food, no family or the ones you have don’t want to know about you, you can even sick, and you still haven’t hit rock bottom; you are still breathing…

              In some countries I would be considered a rich man: I live in a one bedroom apartment by the beach, I have gold jewelry, I have food to eat and nice clothes to wear, I have transportation and I have family. That’s right, for some people I am blessed.

              Of course, there are those, myself included, that recognize that in this country that is far from being rich, or even middle class, in fact, I am considered poor, dirt poor: Unemployed, unpaid debts, no car, no prospects, family far away, not receiving any government help, no health insurance and with ailments, and with eviction probability within the next ninety days.

              Rock bottom? No, not there yet, but I’m getting there. Yes slowly but surely I am approaching the line of no return, and it’s not ‘cause it would be irreversible, but it’s the fact that as you get older you begin to realize that all the mistakes of your youth catch up to you at the time when you are out of time. There is no fixing certain things and becoming a burden to others is way beyond my convictions. Then again, there is always the Lottery, for the last thing a human being loses is HOPE, and other than a miracle, which is what winning the Lottery would be, there is no future worth considering.

              When I was young, I overheard a conversation about a man that couldn’t get an erection with anyone because according to him, he was too old and sick. As I was listening, I thought to myself: “who would want to live life without sex? If that ever happens to me, I will shoot myself and get it over with.” I guess those are the priorities when a man is young. Then life happens and you realize that even when you can get an erection, you may not want to have sex in a month, for that is not so important any more. Priorities change…

              As a person gets older and the years are not so enjoyable to reminisce up on, you realize that the important things are the ones you can’t redo, the opportunities you missed with the ones you love, the friends you left behind, the times you wasted and didn’t stop to smell the roses. Then the whole outlook changes and it’s almost as if your mind experiences a metamorphosis of sort forcing the evaluation of life and brings up that most important question: “What is my purpose in life?”  For there has to be a reason why we were born and live a life, love, work, and go through all those things that most if not all go through.

              Maybe I am being selfish thinking that it’s all about me, but there has to be more; no wonder people believe in heaven as an outlet, or in reincarnation as a chance to fix their mistakes, there has to be something to look forward to in order to make us want to stick it out.

              It has always bothered me that old people in this country will spend their life savings living the last few months of life they have left in a hospital with no hope of ever getting not just better, but having any kind of a quality life to look forward to. And I don’t want to get into the doctors that attend to these people, draining their bank accounts with no regard to human dignity. Maybe I am more selfish than the next guy, but when the situation is hopeless, terminate it. If you are the one without hope, end it, and if you are the family member responsible for that soul laying there without hope, show them love and put an end to their existence. Let them go.

              For some reason and it may be because I grew up here, I put a lot of weight in financial situations, but the reality is that without money in this country you are nothing, nada. In other parts of the world if you find yourself in a bad economic situation you have your family and or your friend to fall back on and even help you in your recovery. Not so much here, and to prove my point, just look at the financial catastrophe the banks placed this country in, causing many people to move in with their parents or siblings, and after a while even though their financial situation was not recovered, a large portion of these renewed families were asking for their privacy back, in other words: MOVE OUT!

              So, in conclusion to this crazy blog, if I don’t hit the Lottery, I should be hitting rock bottom before the end of summer. If that is the case, I have a couple of words to the readers: Don’t screw up your future by screwing up in the present and find what is really important to you in your life and savor it. Build a strong tomorrow for you and your family, with rock solid foundation so it never crumbles and be true to yourself, for if not to you: to whom?

Jorge

PS: Feel sorry for the child that has to endure pain and suffering and do your part to improve their life. Never take pity for those who created their own hell.